Dark road
Saturday 25 th February 2017Drowning
Drowning so deep I just.
don’t know. where I’m going
anymore
Taken by a journey
and its too late to turn back.
Only move forward.
No matter how hard I try
I can’t stop thinking about
the days.
I look back at the pictures
I look back to the past.
And I cry
This time,
its different.
There’s a reason why I can’t slap
yet words don’t slap
they destroy.
My words are an atomic bomb. Never slap. Kill. Torture. Ravage - and I
and I can’t undo the damage
the damage that is done.
I stare at what I’ve done. Just stare,
and while he sees indifference
he can’t see the hurt, the pain that hides beneath the screen.
When I try to piece it all back together
how can I expect anyone to take me seriously
how can I expect anyone to think anything of me other than
a liar
a hypocrite.
This time. Its different.
Drowning so deep
Too late to turn back
I can’t stop thinking
And I cry.
Only move forward.
You don’t understand. This time is different.
I fight the storm that pushes me
where no one wants to be.
I fight the guilt, the hurt, the regret.
I chose my way
a way I was too weak to take.
A road without signs,
Dark.
No lampposts.
Nothing to guide.
If I fall
deep deep deep
into a hole
that even as I fall
I cannot see.
Words can encourage me
or they can drown me
but in the end
they don’t drag me up,
that is only for me to do.
I let myself go
don’t restrain
just let go
Pray.
Breathe.
I breathe and look out the window.
but no matter how hard I breathe
I’m broken
No breath of fresh air will piece me back
together.
Pray that time will heal.
Thrust me down into the deepest hole.
I said I would never give up.
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