I'm not being who I am,
so there is no way for me to change,
already I put smiles and faces,
already I do lie,
lie about the things I like,
LIE ABOUT WHO I AM.

I want to have plenty of friends,
but not if they don't like me,
not if they like the NOT REAL Judit,
not if I am not who I am.
not if I have to LIE ABOUT WHO I AM.

I am tired of pulling smiles,
Ii am tired of following friends,
that's why you see mixed emotions,
but that's only what you see,
Inside of me it is only sadness,
and now the hapieness disguise is wearing down,
that's why you see me feeling down,
it's all because I have to LIE ABOUT WHO I AM.

Why do I?
Why do I have to,
have to LIE ABOUT WHO I AM?

There is so much hope in people I know,
I like them, but they do not care,
sometimes I feel so lonely,
and is my only option to change?

I want to be who I am,
I want to be strong,
and people to like me,
But I have to find a way,
because I will not change.

I am who I am,
I will be who I am,
and I'm not going to change,
not even for the people to like me,
and even for people to like me,
and even if I have to be lonely,
I will stay the same.

I am so sorry,
BUT I WILL NOT CHANGE,
NO WAY.

Here is a collection of poems I've written all talking about the same subject. I might add more. Click read more to see the collection.

I'm isolated,
and I will be for a whole week,
now that you're not there,
not to be with me.

Sometimes I think it will be ok,
that I'll stick to other friends,
but they just ditch me, leave me,
isolated.

I'm tired of following them all the time,
everyway they go,
but if not I am alone.
isolated.

I still care for them,
but they don't stick to me,
I just wish they wouldn't leave me,
isolated.

They find a nice way,
to say they don't want me there,
so I leave, and they dont care!
They leave me isolated.

Oh I wish you were here,
so that you would understand me,
but its for your good to be where you are,
and I want you to be there too.

Without you I am Isolated.

 

My feelings are confusing,
so incredibly hard to explain,
but I'm writing poems and poems,
to let you find the right plane.

I'm telling you that I'm lonely,
that I feel lost and pain,
however I am hiding this,
by shreading a smile on my face.

By now you should know who I'm talking to,
By now you should know my feelings,
It's not that I'm mad at you or anything,
I just want to let you know.