Haikufeel :: Spiritual poems

Early morning call

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Fri, 28 Aug 2020 08:19:00 +0100

Good morning, early morning
My mind wanders off
Unlock me of this curse-d prison where detachment is of a loss
and here I am
as I have been for weeks
A dreadful feeling I cannot expel
And its curse, an internal battle
Or maybe a blessing, I cannot tell.

My prison is control
The need for things to go my way
It is resistance to the greater truth and path of life that binds me to the battlefield
and all I can do is pray

And yet I pray
And I read
And I try to stand still
And my mind fights and resists because what I want, I cannot comprehend why I can't have
Control keeps me imprisonned when I know I could be free
if just let go and if I just
accepted the good
in the bad

The lessons we learn
The mistakes that have brought us to where we are
The things within me I try againn and againn to change...

There is a curtain to my vision
A curtain I cannot unnveil
I've chosen one route when the others could also
serve me well
Somehow I've lost the virtue of patience and
I seek it,
but to no avail.

Haunted I am, by the guilt.
The awarenness of my self-pity.
The knowledge of the insignificance of a suffering
that is unjustified
and incomparable to even to this little grain of sand that in my hand I hold

As I behold the world I live inn
And the greater uncertainty that plagues the lives of others
Annd imagine! All the stories untold.

So you see early mornning,
I greet you and immerse myself in you as an honest attempt
To change
I am unwell and the heaviness and uncertainty of the
daily moment has become too difficult to bear
So today you woke me up before you rose
And I have chosen to wake to your call.

Slowly but surely, oh early morning,
I will rise and free myself of this prison,
And I know I will find myself there time and time again,
But each time I will learnn something more about myself and perhaps
my days of imprisonement will be shorter, or less frequent
as I take a step forward the right way.

So whatever happens today,
I promise this time
I will accept.

And tomorrow will be a different day,
But when I rise I will remember your call,
And attempt to free myself of control,
What ever come, and come what may.

Continue reading Early morning call

River to the Soul

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Tue, 31 Mar 2020 19:17:00 +0100

Oh River, dear friend.
How clearly do you know your path.
While I sit here, clueless
Looking for direction
Hoping this apathy will lapse

To be still, to let what must pass, pass,
To trust that what must be, will be,
That in faith I will find my Destiny,
All of this I know and yet
In my heart there is a pit
A void I must fill.

Oh River, I sit beside you in friendship,
For in you I can confide.
My soul finds it difficult to share its pain and
in your presence I hope I may some answers find.

Life has been busy and now
it quietens down,
In the noise of constant activity,
I drowned
and forgot how to listen to my deeper self.

But now I Hear.
And what, I do not know.
As I delve into my depths, tell me
Where do I go?
Tell me, how do I reach
My soul.

My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts I cannot comprehend
The wider picture is missing
The pieces are magic, the whole is perfection
And yet there is a blindness
A could I cannot dispel
But my friend, I have embarked on a journey
And I have faith it ends well.

A journey I undertake to reconnect with my spirit.
And understand the unease in my heart.
Listening to your course and your nature
In my journey I embark
to surrender
And to let myself be taken by the flow.

A journey I hope leads to my soul.

Continue reading River to the Soul

Where the sunlight will find me

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Sat, 02 Nov 2019 20:14:00 +0100

Hello again, my friend,
how have you been?
It's been a while,
and still you stand so peacefully
and Proud.

The world moves so fast, you see,
the seasons change, and now
you shed your leaves

And here you are, a hundred
or two hundred years of age,
Firm and Sure of your presence.

Over the years you nurture your
roots and as you grow they
Anchor you to the ground.

You know Yourself, come what may.
Let the harsh winds sway your
branches to and fro and the
storms reck chaos and hell
upon your land.
It matters not, for here you stand.

And with your indifference towards
the world's doings, somehow,
I feel your beckoning still.

There is a warmth and
timeless kindness that penetrates
my soul and being.

I know I'm not alone, because
I have you, my friend.

The years may go by but our
friendship will never change.

With your wisdom, take me
where the sunlight will find me.

Continue reading Where the sunlight will find me

Queen of the Living and the Dead.

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Mon, 05 Aug 2019 19:13:00 +0100

Smooth as silk
Fierce, sharp and cold
Shimmering, Colourful, Translucent,
A Mirror to all she knows,
Moulded by circumstance
While circumstance she moulds,
And the look of all she beholds...

Peaceful as air,
Violent as wind,
Like fire, she’s Merciless, Great but also Forgiving,
Alive though not living,
Defiant yet Listening.

She is Light as she is darkness
And she is thunder as she is Silence,
All are drawn to her, a Siren, Enchantress,
Intensely seen and heard and felt, yet alas!
to all, a ghost, long forgotten and past.

She, the Ephemeral Glimmer,
Our Hero, our Saviour our Martyr,
abused, neglected,
caged, disrespected,
Yet Proud, Strong and Unfaltering.

She stands Eternal, Immortal,
Watching over us all,
Queen and Slave of the Living and the Dead.

Continue reading Queen of the Living and the Dead.

I Trust.

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Thu, 16 May 2019 19:14:00 +0100

The world is, and of it, I am.

Knowing this, the sky behind the
clouds is seen, the sun's colours
are most warmly felt,
And all the World is at Peace.

It is, because I know
And I know because it is
No need for rational thought
When what is plain is felt

It is not life that I have but
life that I am, and being this
most wondrous existence,
I Trust.

Continue reading I Trust.

Imagine a World Without Magic

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Thu, 24 Jan 2019 20:14:00 +0100

They say the world is without magic
I dare not imagine what such a world would be
All grey, all same, unending tunnels of suffering and greed

Where all is due to chance alone
And pleasure is confused with need
Where fulfilment is impossible and
Thought, love and kindness are unfree.

In such a place, one dares not trust,
the Universe is the enemy,
Reality is Deceptive, Desolate and Dangerous
and Reward comes only to those who fight free
while others struggle in existence
left to contemplate on the cruelty of mankind,
living on to blank purpose
and to darkness are they confined.

Separation is their ambition,
In glass and concrete they bury themselves,
and to Machines they sell their spirits
For numbers are more important than the company
of friends.

Perhaps in such a world the birds no longer chirp
because the trees are no longer there,
Instead they hear the clang and drop and honk of a busy life
that hunts them everywhere.

Imagine! In such a place animals are caged,
Feared are they as misunderstood is their majesty,
And see, breathing pure air is just a privilege,
As is drinking clean water free.

Day in and day out they use their numbers to
trash the Land and corrupt the Seas,
They say it brings them joy,
As much as poisoning their bodies brings them glee.

With happiness must come sadness
And with comfort must come pain,
Those few who find Contentment are
Scorned for their endeavours to abstain
from the rituals that bring pleasure
but dig a gaping hole inside,
Uncomprehended are those who seek true peace
and meaning and connect rather than abide.

No, but even in such a world, if life sustaineth still
then magic still shall there be
So lost into ourselves and disconnected from our souls,
No longer do we miracles or marvels see
Does life, beauty and complexity no longer sprout from the smallest seed,
the diversity and ingenuity of all Nature’s forms not strike you as a marvellous deed?

For when in Silence, I observe Nature’s grace and charm and style,
I feel, I know, I Belong to
The Divine.

Continue reading Imagine a World Without Magic

Finding the Petal-covered Path

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Thu, 10 May 2018 22:04:00 +0100

Where is it, that I find myself,
Where goes this long and dreary road?
I started my journey on a flower path
a bed of blue and rose.
Perhaps I am mistaken but it seems to me I am lost
how do I find my route again,
if my mind takes me where my soul will not?
Tell me, why does the mind seek misery and bring upon itself such mighty grief?
I know where the petal-covered path lies
the intersection where mind and soul find each other and I, my inner peace.
And yet somehow I turn my back to it
Blindly searching for a treat,
forgetting what bigger happiness hides beneath the fabric of self-deceit.
But temporary is the pleasure, and how poisonous is greed,
far Greater and Plentiful are the treasures
when you cultivate your inner Seed.
Just look at what surrounds you,
Feel that summer breeze, that greenness and those flapping tails,
the way Life flourishes,
no matter how unlikely it may seem.
Remember why you took the course you did when you decided upon your path,
so pick up your courage and get going,
do it on your behalf.
In truth, I know inside me I know exactly where to go,
with patience and good will I'll reach my destiny and there my Seed I will sow.

And grow I will, roots anchoring me onto rich and firm ground.

In the horizon I see the bluebells and the leaves becoming me to their mother’s land,
Worry not my beloved brothers and sisters,
Beside you, I will always Stand.

Continue reading Finding the Petal-covered Path

Behind the Veil

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Wed, 09 May 2018 22:04:00 +0100

Wake me up.
For I am still asleep.
Navigating the day in a haze,
unable to see past the dream curtain’s shade.

Reaching out to the world unseen,
pained by the guilts and the sorrows
of my selfish undertaking
knowing it takes will and devotion
to truly Feel.

For I have Seen.

And every time I approach peace
I destroy it
so easily
and every time it is harder to reach

Why is illusion so great a temptation?
What is it about our lives that
leads us so easily astray?
Seeking falsity
hoping but merely to be happy.

Free me of this weight I carry
let tomorrow be another day
for, as the sun rises,
my eyes will open to the world
behind the veil.

Continue reading Behind the Veil

Hello, sir Tree

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Tue, 17 Apr 2018 22:04:00 +0100

Hello sir Tree,
I like the coat you wear,
The way it tangles around your neck and up,
So green,
It suits you very well.

I wonder, does it not bother you,
The way the squirrels bounce upon your skin?
Or do you welcome them with open arms,
The way the forest to me always will?

You see, for in the human world,
Us Sapiens are not so kind,
By jealousy and ego,
to Virtue we are blind.

Oh, that if I could for my species apologise,
for the beauty of your kingdom we have defiled!

If I could speak, then I would ask,
Do those metallic lights not burn your eyes?
For a horrid sight that disturbs you so,
You are awfully quiet, you know.

Truly, for all the miseries to your kingdom we have caused,
I admire the way you stand, so firmly, undeterred.
Living on, for the thousands of years you have left,
way on and beyond my date of death.

Acceptance
of the present moment, be it joyful or sad,
Making the most out of life.
For your happiness, and mine, at least,
I am glad.

Continue reading Hello, sir Tree

Fly

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 22:05:00 +0100

Look at them, so quiet and free!
They need not worry about having to flee.
For all is their territory, and earth is their home,
they know not the meaning of ‘own’.

Bounce away, little beings,
Spread your wings into the sky,
You know not the fortune you have,
Suspended in the air above me, so high.

But I need not long for the simplicity you have,
For it is I, in self-righteousness that from my freedom am deprived.

So the answer is simple, dear friends,
you are not hard to find,
In my freedom I join you,
Embracing a peace of mind.

Continue reading Fly

Morning Forest

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 22:05:00 +0100

I want to lose myself in the forest,
Find shelter in the leaves,
Away from the panic, the stress, the solitude,
The misery of those horrid screams,
Of a world I want to leave behind,
ill with those who are asleep,
disconnected from the world that sings to us,
that welcomes us and gives us peace.

So hide me in your branches,
Clear my mind of greed,
Cure me of my ignorance
Protect me from my dream.

Now that my eyes are open,
I know my heart finds peace,
but I can’t rest a mind that beholds
the staggering minds that desperately
cling to their hungry needs.
Trying to find their way in a
nightmare
that swallows them in a vision of
money, sex and fame,
Not knowing the true freedom of
your holy Name.

In my heart I know your Glory is
With me as I walk,
Illuminating my soul to beauty,
even when it is
dark.

Continue reading Morning Forest

My City

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Sun, 04 Mar 2018 23:05:00 +0100

How they long for their big, bustling city!
Its crowds, the sounds,
the buses, trains, the cabs and trams,
the variety and colour of streets, the infinite shops, the choice of where to go,
the sights, the museums, the romance of night lights.
How every day is different, how varied the opportunities, the paths.

In my city,
the crowds fly and the sounds are melodies,
its inhabitants buzz, chirp, flow and hop by,
the streets divide into multitudes of colours and shapes, every inch as different
as two bricks are the same.
In the smallest of spaces there is infinity, and in the biggest, the choice of where to look,
and when the light shines, it fills the wholeness of space and the soleness of my heart,
the romance hidden in the little mysteries of a solemn sky.
How different each day is, how varied the opportunities, the paths!

Today I look upon that burst of pink,
the birth of buds,
the little droplets hanging from the pine leaves.
The branches, I notice, hang lower today,
the whiteness of the ground is of a different shade,
and while the birds sing as they did before,
I know their song is not the same.
The water that glides the surface of the stream is ever changing,
like the atoms that cycle in the dynamism of Life.

So I don’t long for my big, bustling city.
It goes with me wherever I go
Big as ever, no matter how small.

Continue reading My City

Open

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Mon, 26 Feb 2018 23:05:00 +0100

Open your eyes.
Listen.
Listen to the rustling leaves,
the sound of snow falling from the trees,
the gentle whisper of the stream.
The birds that sing their welcome!
That chirp in unifying peace.
Walking,
I hear the crunching of the snow beneath my feet,
among the little sounds that
awake the silence.

And around me,
the beauty of that white cover, so delicate,
so fine.
Though cold, it brings a warmth to the elements that
I can’t define.

So, while you complain about the cold,
the immeasurable horror of the inconvenience that is snow,
I beg you to reconsider with all that you know.
And indulge in this silent, liberating peace.

For in my heart lies the hope that one day,
you will open your eyes.
Awake from your dream.
And find Life
simply by listening to the wind.

Continue reading Open

Freedom Fire

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Thu, 02 Mar 2017 23:12:00 +0100

River rushing through creek.
Water, rocks, trees,
assuming shape, knowing surroundings
invariably, flowing through law
law flowing through it
Knowledge contained in its essence

Not conscious
but the end-point is clear, intrinsic to its existence,
the embodiment of natural law.

How some assume to be the river!
With absolute certainty they insist to
know the world.

Water, rocks, trees
the creek shapes us, knows us,
but we do not know the creek.

And yet
somehow we may take any shape
more like an uncontrollable fire
holding the freedom of
choice.

Not knowing what is ahead
nor understanding the reality we have
changed. Yet having to
think, decide and
live.

To choose our own way
to make our own creek.

Though overwhelmed by the thought of the
consequences
I embrace the thought and
go to sleep.

Continue reading Freedom Fire