Haikufeel :: Friendship poems, Happy poems, Love poems, mountain poems, Nature poems, Sad ...

Early morning call

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Fri, 28 Aug 2020 08:19:00 +0100

Good morning, early morning
My mind wanders off
Unlock me of this curse-d prison where detachment is of a loss
and here I am
as I have been for weeks
A dreadful feeling I cannot expel
And its curse, an internal battle
Or maybe a blessing, I cannot tell.

My prison is control
The need for things to go my way
It is resistance to the greater truth and path of life that binds me to the battlefield
and all I can do is pray

And yet I pray
And I read
And I try to stand still
And my mind fights and resists because what I want, I cannot comprehend why I can't have
Control keeps me imprisonned when I know I could be free
if just let go and if I just
accepted the good
in the bad

The lessons we learn
The mistakes that have brought us to where we are
The things within me I try againn and againn to change...

There is a curtain to my vision
A curtain I cannot unnveil
I've chosen one route when the others could also
serve me well
Somehow I've lost the virtue of patience and
I seek it,
but to no avail.

Haunted I am, by the guilt.
The awarenness of my self-pity.
The knowledge of the insignificance of a suffering
that is unjustified
and incomparable to even to this little grain of sand that in my hand I hold

As I behold the world I live inn
And the greater uncertainty that plagues the lives of others
Annd imagine! All the stories untold.

So you see early mornning,
I greet you and immerse myself in you as an honest attempt
To change
I am unwell and the heaviness and uncertainty of the
daily moment has become too difficult to bear
So today you woke me up before you rose
And I have chosen to wake to your call.

Slowly but surely, oh early morning,
I will rise and free myself of this prison,
And I know I will find myself there time and time again,
But each time I will learnn something more about myself and perhaps
my days of imprisonement will be shorter, or less frequent
as I take a step forward the right way.

So whatever happens today,
I promise this time
I will accept.

And tomorrow will be a different day,
But when I rise I will remember your call,
And attempt to free myself of control,
What ever come, and come what may.

Continue reading Early morning call

River to the Soul

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Tue, 31 Mar 2020 19:17:00 +0100

Oh River, dear friend.
How clearly do you know your path.
While I sit here, clueless
Looking for direction
Hoping this apathy will lapse

To be still, to let what must pass, pass,
To trust that what must be, will be,
That in faith I will find my Destiny,
All of this I know and yet
In my heart there is a pit
A void I must fill.

Oh River, I sit beside you in friendship,
For in you I can confide.
My soul finds it difficult to share its pain and
in your presence I hope I may some answers find.

Life has been busy and now
it quietens down,
In the noise of constant activity,
I drowned
and forgot how to listen to my deeper self.

But now I Hear.
And what, I do not know.
As I delve into my depths, tell me
Where do I go?
Tell me, how do I reach
My soul.

My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts I cannot comprehend
The wider picture is missing
The pieces are magic, the whole is perfection
And yet there is a blindness
A could I cannot dispel
But my friend, I have embarked on a journey
And I have faith it ends well.

A journey I undertake to reconnect with my spirit.
And understand the unease in my heart.
Listening to your course and your nature
In my journey I embark
to surrender
And to let myself be taken by the flow.

A journey I hope leads to my soul.

Continue reading River to the Soul

Where the sunlight will find me

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Sat, 02 Nov 2019 20:14:00 +0100

Hello again, my friend,
how have you been?
It's been a while,
and still you stand so peacefully
and Proud.

The world moves so fast, you see,
the seasons change, and now
you shed your leaves

And here you are, a hundred
or two hundred years of age,
Firm and Sure of your presence.

Over the years you nurture your
roots and as you grow they
Anchor you to the ground.

You know Yourself, come what may.
Let the harsh winds sway your
branches to and fro and the
storms reck chaos and hell
upon your land.
It matters not, for here you stand.

And with your indifference towards
the world's doings, somehow,
I feel your beckoning still.

There is a warmth and
timeless kindness that penetrates
my soul and being.

I know I'm not alone, because
I have you, my friend.

The years may go by but our
friendship will never change.

With your wisdom, take me
where the sunlight will find me.

Continue reading Where the sunlight will find me

Queen of the Living and the Dead.

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Mon, 05 Aug 2019 19:13:00 +0100

Smooth as silk
Fierce, sharp and cold
Shimmering, Colourful, Translucent,
A Mirror to all she knows,
Moulded by circumstance
While circumstance she moulds,
And the look of all she beholds...

Peaceful as air,
Violent as wind,
Like fire, she’s Merciless, Great but also Forgiving,
Alive though not living,
Defiant yet Listening.

She is Light as she is darkness
And she is thunder as she is Silence,
All are drawn to her, a Siren, Enchantress,
Intensely seen and heard and felt, yet alas!
to all, a ghost, long forgotten and past.

She, the Ephemeral Glimmer,
Our Hero, our Saviour our Martyr,
abused, neglected,
caged, disrespected,
Yet Proud, Strong and Unfaltering.

She stands Eternal, Immortal,
Watching over us all,
Queen and Slave of the Living and the Dead.

Continue reading Queen of the Living and the Dead.

I Trust.

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Thu, 16 May 2019 19:14:00 +0100

The world is, and of it, I am.

Knowing this, the sky behind the
clouds is seen, the sun's colours
are most warmly felt,
And all the World is at Peace.

It is, because I know
And I know because it is
No need for rational thought
When what is plain is felt

It is not life that I have but
life that I am, and being this
most wondrous existence,
I Trust.

Continue reading I Trust.

Imagine a World Without Magic

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Thu, 24 Jan 2019 20:14:00 +0100

They say the world is without magic
I dare not imagine what such a world would be
All grey, all same, unending tunnels of suffering and greed

Where all is due to chance alone
And pleasure is confused with need
Where fulfilment is impossible and
Thought, love and kindness are unfree.

In such a place, one dares not trust,
the Universe is the enemy,
Reality is Deceptive, Desolate and Dangerous
and Reward comes only to those who fight free
while others struggle in existence
left to contemplate on the cruelty of mankind,
living on to blank purpose
and to darkness are they confined.

Separation is their ambition,
In glass and concrete they bury themselves,
and to Machines they sell their spirits
For numbers are more important than the company
of friends.

Perhaps in such a world the birds no longer chirp
because the trees are no longer there,
Instead they hear the clang and drop and honk of a busy life
that hunts them everywhere.

Imagine! In such a place animals are caged,
Feared are they as misunderstood is their majesty,
And see, breathing pure air is just a privilege,
As is drinking clean water free.

Day in and day out they use their numbers to
trash the Land and corrupt the Seas,
They say it brings them joy,
As much as poisoning their bodies brings them glee.

With happiness must come sadness
And with comfort must come pain,
Those few who find Contentment are
Scorned for their endeavours to abstain
from the rituals that bring pleasure
but dig a gaping hole inside,
Uncomprehended are those who seek true peace
and meaning and connect rather than abide.

No, but even in such a world, if life sustaineth still
then magic still shall there be
So lost into ourselves and disconnected from our souls,
No longer do we miracles or marvels see
Does life, beauty and complexity no longer sprout from the smallest seed,
the diversity and ingenuity of all Nature’s forms not strike you as a marvellous deed?

For when in Silence, I observe Nature’s grace and charm and style,
I feel, I know, I Belong to
The Divine.

Continue reading Imagine a World Without Magic

Watercolour Tree Arch

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Thu, 20 Dec 2018 23:32:00 +0100

Continue reading Watercolour Tree Arch

Finding the Petal-covered Path

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Thu, 10 May 2018 22:04:00 +0100

Where is it, that I find myself,
Where goes this long and dreary road?
I started my journey on a flower path
a bed of blue and rose.
Perhaps I am mistaken but it seems to me I am lost
how do I find my route again,
if my mind takes me where my soul will not?
Tell me, why does the mind seek misery and bring upon itself such mighty grief?
I know where the petal-covered path lies
the intersection where mind and soul find each other and I, my inner peace.
And yet somehow I turn my back to it
Blindly searching for a treat,
forgetting what bigger happiness hides beneath the fabric of self-deceit.
But temporary is the pleasure, and how poisonous is greed,
far Greater and Plentiful are the treasures
when you cultivate your inner Seed.
Just look at what surrounds you,
Feel that summer breeze, that greenness and those flapping tails,
the way Life flourishes,
no matter how unlikely it may seem.
Remember why you took the course you did when you decided upon your path,
so pick up your courage and get going,
do it on your behalf.
In truth, I know inside me I know exactly where to go,
with patience and good will I'll reach my destiny and there my Seed I will sow.

And grow I will, roots anchoring me onto rich and firm ground.

In the horizon I see the bluebells and the leaves becoming me to their mother’s land,
Worry not my beloved brothers and sisters,
Beside you, I will always Stand.

Continue reading Finding the Petal-covered Path

Behind the Veil

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Wed, 09 May 2018 22:04:00 +0100

Wake me up.
For I am still asleep.
Navigating the day in a haze,
unable to see past the dream curtain’s shade.

Reaching out to the world unseen,
pained by the guilts and the sorrows
of my selfish undertaking
knowing it takes will and devotion
to truly Feel.

For I have Seen.

And every time I approach peace
I destroy it
so easily
and every time it is harder to reach

Why is illusion so great a temptation?
What is it about our lives that
leads us so easily astray?
Seeking falsity
hoping but merely to be happy.

Free me of this weight I carry
let tomorrow be another day
for, as the sun rises,
my eyes will open to the world
behind the veil.

Continue reading Behind the Veil

Hello, sir Tree

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Tue, 17 Apr 2018 22:04:00 +0100

Hello sir Tree,
I like the coat you wear,
The way it tangles around your neck and up,
So green,
It suits you very well.

I wonder, does it not bother you,
The way the squirrels bounce upon your skin?
Or do you welcome them with open arms,
The way the forest to me always will?

You see, for in the human world,
Us Sapiens are not so kind,
By jealousy and ego,
to Virtue we are blind.

Oh, that if I could for my species apologise,
for the beauty of your kingdom we have defiled!

If I could speak, then I would ask,
Do those metallic lights not burn your eyes?
For a horrid sight that disturbs you so,
You are awfully quiet, you know.

Truly, for all the miseries to your kingdom we have caused,
I admire the way you stand, so firmly, undeterred.
Living on, for the thousands of years you have left,
way on and beyond my date of death.

Acceptance
of the present moment, be it joyful or sad,
Making the most out of life.
For your happiness, and mine, at least,
I am glad.

Continue reading Hello, sir Tree

Fly

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 22:05:00 +0100

Look at them, so quiet and free!
They need not worry about having to flee.
For all is their territory, and earth is their home,
they know not the meaning of ‘own’.

Bounce away, little beings,
Spread your wings into the sky,
You know not the fortune you have,
Suspended in the air above me, so high.

But I need not long for the simplicity you have,
For it is I, in self-righteousness that from my freedom am deprived.

So the answer is simple, dear friends,
you are not hard to find,
In my freedom I join you,
Embracing a peace of mind.

Continue reading Fly

Morning Forest

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Sat, 14 Apr 2018 22:05:00 +0100

I want to lose myself in the forest,
Find shelter in the leaves,
Away from the panic, the stress, the solitude,
The misery of those horrid screams,
Of a world I want to leave behind,
ill with those who are asleep,
disconnected from the world that sings to us,
that welcomes us and gives us peace.

So hide me in your branches,
Clear my mind of greed,
Cure me of my ignorance
Protect me from my dream.

Now that my eyes are open,
I know my heart finds peace,
but I can’t rest a mind that beholds
the staggering minds that desperately
cling to their hungry needs.
Trying to find their way in a
nightmare
that swallows them in a vision of
money, sex and fame,
Not knowing the true freedom of
your holy Name.

In my heart I know your Glory is
With me as I walk,
Illuminating my soul to beauty,
even when it is
dark.

Continue reading Morning Forest

My City

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Sun, 04 Mar 2018 23:05:00 +0100

How they long for their big, bustling city!
Its crowds, the sounds,
the buses, trains, the cabs and trams,
the variety and colour of streets, the infinite shops, the choice of where to go,
the sights, the museums, the romance of night lights.
How every day is different, how varied the opportunities, the paths.

In my city,
the crowds fly and the sounds are melodies,
its inhabitants buzz, chirp, flow and hop by,
the streets divide into multitudes of colours and shapes, every inch as different
as two bricks are the same.
In the smallest of spaces there is infinity, and in the biggest, the choice of where to look,
and when the light shines, it fills the wholeness of space and the soleness of my heart,
the romance hidden in the little mysteries of a solemn sky.
How different each day is, how varied the opportunities, the paths!

Today I look upon that burst of pink,
the birth of buds,
the little droplets hanging from the pine leaves.
The branches, I notice, hang lower today,
the whiteness of the ground is of a different shade,
and while the birds sing as they did before,
I know their song is not the same.
The water that glides the surface of the stream is ever changing,
like the atoms that cycle in the dynamism of Life.

So I don’t long for my big, bustling city.
It goes with me wherever I go
Big as ever, no matter how small.

Continue reading My City

Open

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Mon, 26 Feb 2018 23:05:00 +0100

Open your eyes.
Listen.
Listen to the rustling leaves,
the sound of snow falling from the trees,
the gentle whisper of the stream.
The birds that sing their welcome!
That chirp in unifying peace.
Walking,
I hear the crunching of the snow beneath my feet,
among the little sounds that
awake the silence.

And around me,
the beauty of that white cover, so delicate,
so fine.
Though cold, it brings a warmth to the elements that
I can’t define.

So, while you complain about the cold,
the immeasurable horror of the inconvenience that is snow,
I beg you to reconsider with all that you know.
And indulge in this silent, liberating peace.

For in my heart lies the hope that one day,
you will open your eyes.
Awake from your dream.
And find Life
simply by listening to the wind.

Continue reading Open

Elements

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 20:55:00 +0100

It rains.
As the clouds cry,
their tears are peacefully carried away.
To the rivers, to the oceans, to the sea.
Reaching unity, their rightful destiny, of pure and honest acceptance.

Raindrops of emotion.
Of love, happiness, and nostalgia
Of life at its full. Impossible to ask more.
In them, reflected three of the pillars of nature’s existence,
Sunshine, Fire and Wind.

Three forces that keep me upright
that hold me in place
helping me find who I am
what I am to do
what I am to love.

Sunshine.
She radiates light, warmth and energy.
The energy of life,
light of wisdom, truth and guidance
Hope
rainbows of unrelenting positivity.

Fire.
In her flames, she carries not only passion, boldness, and character,
but warmth, and light of sound wisdom and advice.
In which I see inspiring and mesmerising beauty.

Wind.
She moves, touches and inspires.
Fills you with love, happiness, and meaning.
Knowing exactly how she must blow to keep you upright,
to hold and support.
Her power transcends limits of human imagination.

In the tears that I cry,
raindrops of emotion,
I see the reflection of your essence,
three of the forces
that hold me in place
helping me find who I am.

Tears carried away to the oceans, rivers and sea.
Where I feel whole.
Having reached unity, a sense of pure and honest acceptance.

Where I am in peace with myself and the world.

Continue reading Elements

Climb

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Fri, 10 Mar 2017 23:12:00 +0100

Don’t look down
Never give up
Release fear
Learn to let go.

Climbing upwards
I feel the knots disintegrate
those that capture my body and mind into a frantic, convoluted mess of distress, confusion, and overwhelming emotion
loosening the tension of those that bind me to the terrible consequences of a decision I cannot turn back on
but only move on.

Instead I am held by the powerful knot of safety and comfort
a knot that allows me to let go
to lose fear
to move on.

Instead I can climb upwards instead of
pulling myself down.
There I forget myself and look towards my only goal.

Persistence, perseverance, patience
sometimes means letting go.
Though my violent falls are easily perceived as the fault of
weakness, under-confidence, cowardice
Though the bystander may consider that I have
Given Up.

But when I let go it is not to give up
but to look at the wall from a
different perspective
take a moment of rest and self-care
So I can learn, improve and try again.

In my peaceful state of unrelenting motivation, concentration, and clarity
I challenge myself to a harder wall.
Slowly, calmly and fearlessly I approach it with gentle movements
despite the strain on my arms and my trembling body.

I do not ignore the pain. I acknowledge it and move forward because
I know my destination.

And yet,
ever so close,
I feel a sharp, burning, searing pain. I know I can still hold on, move on, continue …

I also know that I will break.
Instead I remember to
let go.
And I remind myself that
I will try again.

Don’t push harder, work softly, don’t make the damage worse than what it was.

Where I am injured I support
though I know I must temporarily avoid my source of pain.
Support gives me an equal if not
more gratifying source of peace.

Then try again, but don’t push too hard.
Aware of my injury I adapt my strategy
the position of my arms and legs
the difficulty of the walls that I attempt
letting go whenever the strain is too strong.

A judgement that I alone must make,
for the strain is nothing like
the pain of
a broken
or dislocated
arm.
Nothing like the pain of a
gashing wound.

But I will not let the strain
become a broken, dislocated arm.

I walk away from the climbing walls and know that I will return again.

Continue reading Climb

Insert here the body text.

Lava

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Thu, 09 Mar 2017 23:12:00 +0100

Lava restrained so far
lava kept in so that I would not
hurt.

Patience, effort, agony
to resist the equilibrium it seeks.
No. I cannot let it happen.

Don’t let it pour
keep it in
don’t destroy the
surroundings that keep you
in sync

Don’t destroy the nature that
builds your very being
that you love with all your
heart

Never hurt
abide by the wishes of the
weather
the earth
of the people
whose homes stand above your existence.

For,
my existence
should make me feel ashamed
I do not deserve to
live for
the lives I have destroyed
despite trying so hard to
save what I
so desperately cared for.

No.
every now and then the lava leaks out
and I cannot control it
and the more I keep it in the more destruction it wreaks when it

brutally explodes.
a rushing cataclysm of glowing magma.

And so, for the destruction it will cause
I cannot restrain it.
Instead I plunge, pull myself down into a world of
inevitable despair

fighting to accept that the harm I have caused
cannot be worse than what it would be
had I kept it in much longer.

fighting
praying
that the harm is reversible

that I can regain balance with the weather
the earth
and the people whose homes stand above my existence.

To them
just a force of evil
of hatred
impossible of love or kindness

Not realising the lava are the volcano’s
tears of despair and anguish

while I keep a strong front for sake of my sanity
while I resist the urge to
destroy myself into pieces of
merciless self-blame
on the brink of depression

where I am pulled up by the fire
that makes my existence
because I am not alone.

Only move on.

Perpetual fear-
I refuse to-
mind racing
stop
I beg.
you.

Volcanoes can only be inactive for so long.

Please hold on.

Continue reading Lava

Freedom Fire

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Thu, 02 Mar 2017 23:12:00 +0100

River rushing through creek.
Water, rocks, trees,
assuming shape, knowing surroundings
invariably, flowing through law
law flowing through it
Knowledge contained in its essence

Not conscious
but the end-point is clear, intrinsic to its existence,
the embodiment of natural law.

How some assume to be the river!
With absolute certainty they insist to
know the world.

Water, rocks, trees
the creek shapes us, knows us,
but we do not know the creek.

And yet
somehow we may take any shape
more like an uncontrollable fire
holding the freedom of
choice.

Not knowing what is ahead
nor understanding the reality we have
changed. Yet having to
think, decide and
live.

To choose our own way
to make our own creek.

Though overwhelmed by the thought of the
consequences
I embrace the thought and
go to sleep.

Continue reading Freedom Fire

Dark road

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 23:13:00 +0100

Drowning
Drowning so deep I just.
don’t know. where I’m going
anymore

Taken by a journey
and its too late to turn back.

Only move forward.

No matter how hard I try
I can’t stop thinking about
the days.
I look back at the pictures
I look back to the past.
And I cry

This time,
its different.

There’s a reason why I can’t slap
yet words don’t slap
they destroy.

My words are an atomic bomb. Never slap. Kill. Torture. Ravage - and I
and I can’t undo the damage
the damage that is done.

I stare at what I’ve done. Just stare,
and while he sees indifference
he can’t see the hurt, the pain that hides beneath the screen.

When I try to piece it all back together
how can I expect anyone to take me seriously
how can I expect anyone to think anything of me other than
a liar
a hypocrite.

This time. Its different.
Drowning so deep
Too late to turn back
I can’t stop thinking
And I cry.
Only move forward.

You don’t understand. This time is different.
I fight the storm that pushes me
where no one wants to be.

I fight the guilt, the hurt, the regret.
I chose my way
a way I was too weak to take.

A road without signs,
Dark.
No lampposts.
Nothing to guide.
If I fall
deep deep deep
into a hole
that even as I fall
I cannot see.

Words can encourage me
or they can drown me
but in the end
they don’t drag me up,
that is only for me to do.

I let myself go
don’t restrain
just let go

Pray.

Breathe.
I breathe and look out the window.
but no matter how hard I breathe
I’m broken

No breath of fresh air will piece me back
together.

Pray that time will heal.

Thrust me down into the deepest hole.
I said I would never give up.

Continue reading Dark road

No words

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Fri, 17 Feb 2017 23:13:00 +0100

Defeated.
Alone.
No words.

No words.
Just me staring at my desk
head in hands
eyes
tears
don’t want to
pour
my soul
I don’t know.

I listen to the background noise
of what I could destroy
if I open my mouth

Words.
But there are none.

So why do I write on this
blank page.
As I fail to speak
my
thoughts

I don’t know
what
to
I
am
lost.

Lost
in mad darkness.

I am
weak.

Weak
as a storm
trapped in a cage
where the lightning is
too soft to hate.

I don’t know.

Continue reading No words

Crushed Stone

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Sat, 21 Jan 2017 23:14:00 +0100

Alone.
I am an immobile stone.
Desperation hits as I
attempt to stop an unstoppable
storm.

That never ends
that I can't heal

Caused by the
evil workings of a violent world.

The human race has provoked it
as it ravages the beautiful lands
that once existed
in a place now unknown

A world now unknown.

Desperate
we try to find ourselves
fighting against a force that thrusts us
downward.

A force that feeds on
our everlasting blindness.
Ill, we damage the
world around us.

Storms arise
front
back
inside us.

What power do I have against
this mass destruction?

Desperate I work to
fight against
the blindness
imposed consequence of
this world’s violence

Desperate
I fight against the
attack that those
unwilling have
forced onto
this crying world.

I pick up the dust.
Dust that once made up
the unwavering stone
that fought against the
impossible power
of injustice.

Pieces back together
I look at myself.

Alone
An immobile stone.
I fight against
the unstoppable storm
the force that
feeds on our blindness
the world’s violence.

I have no power against this
mass destruction.

I am dust,
broken by the impossible
power of injustice.

A crying world.

My hope is crushed
I am powerless.
But I will never give up.

Continue reading Crushed Stone

Pain

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Sat, 21 Jan 2017 23:13:00 +0100

It pierces.
The pain
The guilt
the pressure.

Like the throbbing
of my head.

The words.

The gentle breeze does care for me,
it really does.
But ever so fragile as the smallest leaf
i fall
defeated
to the words
the words of pain
its pain
not mine
but mine

that subtle movement
is a hurricane
that leaf
its cause

it makes no sense
nothing does
but both the gentle breeze
and the leaf
know.

its mine.
like the throbbing in my head.

Continue reading Pain

Hand-sewn handbag

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 19:30:00 +0100

So this is the handbag I was talking about. I took me around 30 hours to make it and I am so happy I finally finished! I made this with some old jeans, newspaper (on the inside), some scrap pieces of cloth and a strap from another bag. The idea is completely mine, and I practically improvised the whole thing, not knowing much about any particular techniques to use. In fact, my sewing machine does not work very well (or perhaps I just don't know how to use it) so I made the whole thing by hand. Totally handmade! Yes. My fingers do hurt. Well hopefully this was worth the effort and you like it, and more importantly (as I can already guarantee that I like it) that it will be of use and will not fall into pieces on the first day. It seems pretty sturdy, so hopefully my expectations are correct! If you want to read about the process of making it to perhaps inspire you to make one yourself, click 'read more'.

Continue reading Hand-sewn handbag

First of all, I decided the dimensions of my bag. I decided to make it 24 cm x 52 cm.
I then cut out a piece of white fabric bigger than that, 28 cm x 56 cm

I cut out three cardboard templates: 5 cm x 5 cm, 5 cm x 9 cm, and 9 cm x 9 cm
Using these templates I cut out the following pieces of cloth:

I then cut the cardboard templates into 4 cm x 4 cm, 4 cm x 8 cm, and 8 cm x 8 cm pieces

I traced the recently cut templates onto the pieces of cloth

And I laid all my pieces of cloth down onto the large piece of white fabric to decide the order in which I would sew them

And then I started sewing. This step was the one that took me the longest.

I then drew the dimensions of the bag onto the back of the fabric.

And also drew the dimensions on a piece of newspaper.

I then placed a piece of plastic film behind this piece of newspaper and another beneath it (one that would be visible in the end product). This faced the 'pretty' side of the fabric.
I placed needles and began to sew (all except one side in order flip the cloth fabric and newspaper to their nicer sides)!

This is what was visible on the other side after sewing

And time to flip everything to their nicer sides!
This is the front:

And the back:

I then cut some pockets out from my old jeans and sewed the onto the newspaper side of the handbag.
I cut the waist of my jeans and used that piece to sew onto the sides of the bag
I then sewed a button and a piece of string onto the whole thing, added a strap from an old bag and I'm finally done!!

Hand-sewn pouch

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Thu, 09 Jul 2015 19:26:00 +0100

I have started the complicated process of making myself a handbag out of some of my old jeans, newspaper, and other pieces of cloth - but I am far from finishing it.
My grandmother's birthday was coming up so I decided to interupt the process to make a much smaller item out of the same materials and technique as a gift for her.
So use your imagination to imagine how my handbag will look like!! I have never tried anything quite so complicated and my sewing machine does not work, so it will definetely take a lot of time!
I hope you like the little pouch I made for my grandmother and the instructions will come soon when I finish it!
Click read more to see the pictures!

Continue reading Hand-sewn pouch

Pondering

nuria@haikufeel.com (Nuria Duran Calzada) — Mon, 06 Jul 2015 08:28:00 +0100

This is a poem i got inspired by looking at a chair. To see the poem Click read more.

Continue reading Pondering

The Girl sits alone
Looking at the twinkling stars
Pondering all thoughts

No Regrets?!

gillanshoukry@aol.com (Yasmin) — Fri, 15 May 2015 18:36:00 +0100

This is a narrative I wrote last year for my English class. Hope you like it! - Yasmin

Days, months, years had passed since it happened. Yet I still live in that very moment, or rather that, this moment, lives on in me, with me, off me. I would be mendacious if I said I had forgotten or if it had forgotten me. How could it, how could I, after all that we've been through. My safe, my saviour, my equal, yet it is the source of so, so much pain and anguish.

Continue reading No Regrets?!

Like a shadow, it -

stalks...me.

Like a shield, it GUA me RDS.

And -

like a dagger, it kills. Me.

The very weight dragging... dragging life on, which like a heavy chain, lengthens behind with many links of pain.

"I must overcome. It. Must be laid to. Rest. In peace. It will be done. Now."

It was a dark, cold, February evening when I decided to set off. The moon, riding high above the clouds, was surely leading the way. By the time I had arrived, nightfall had well and truly fallen, unlike the lagging hours of the day, going by like windless clouds over a tender sky.

I was greeted by the door, or what was left of it, though this was far from the usual unapologetically "warm welcome" that one is accustomed to. Nevertheless, I expected nothing more. Taking in deep breaths, breathing out all the fear and worry instilled in me, I lunged myself inside.

It was exactly how I left it, how we left it, after it happened.

I could hear the screams, feel them passing through my lips and booming like thunder, around the house. They seemed to be coming from along the hallway to my right, at the far end, but I just couldn't tell. I carefully made my away along the corridor, the sound of my shallow breathe echoing, just as much as our screams. The corridor split into three rooms, the living room, bathroom and kitchen. Tentatively, I looked inside, my heart racing like a runaway train, getting faster and faster. I could hardly tell the rooms apart; everything, from the kitchen worktop to the old, ebony rocking chair had been reduced to the ruins and the avenging ashes that they are. It all happened so long ago, yet it seems like only yesterday.

The screams grew louder and stronger as I approached it, like a siren in the heart of the night, pounding at your eardrums until they bleed. Would it still be there? Would it still remember? More importantly, has it changed?

Running unsteadily into the living room, like a blind man feeling his way, I tripped, as the arms of agony reached for me from below. I looked up and there it was, sitting in the corner, beckoning me to take a closer look, like the devil whispering in your ear.

"You came back for me, didn't you? Go on, open me then, take me out, don't you want to play? It's been so long. You know you want to, you can't resist me, us."

And so I did.

Deafening and implacable like some elemental force.
As fatal as the fangs of the most venomous snake. Gleaming like a diamond on a dancing girl. Gone astray as a sheep that is lost. Empty like a corpse in its grave. Revealing all the same.

It was never meant to happen. I never wanted it to be this way. But the things he would say and the things he would do. To me.

I had no choice, I had to do it.

I couldn't take it anymore!

I gradually lifted it out of the box and grasped it tightly with my right, bloodstained hand. All I could see was the blade reflecting a face, a face of a monster, who was just as bad as he was.

It hadn't changed. I had.

"I must overcome. It. Must be laid to. Rest. In peace. It will be done. Now.”

The Door

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Thu, 07 May 2015 20:26:00 +0100

Pulling my hand towards the door, was a force I had no power or authority over. A force that had left me appalled, bewildered... that had left me staring at the contents of a room I could not yet make sense of. It was unspoken of. What was I doing? My mind, submissive in character, was desperately ordering my body to obey the words that I had been told only too often: "Don't you ever dare walk past that door". But I did.

Continue reading The Door

And here I was. But I no longer knew who 'I' was. For this room I stood in seemed incredibly familiar, and I was certain this was the first time I stood in it.
It was an ordinary room. A bit dusty, a few spiderwebs every half a metre or so, but ordinary nonetheless. Forty centimetres in front of me, prevailed a space occupied by a rickety desk, sustaining what seemed to be the catastrophic consequences of disorganisation. To me, it was far from normal, but then again, I was far from normal myself.
Beside it, a bed, neatly covered with beautiful designs, and above it, the indications of a celebrity obsession - a few annotated posters of good-looking men. A mirror, a wardrobe, a lamp, chair, bookshelf - the furnishings one would expect from an average teenaged girl.

Teenager. How had my life been as a teenager? I could not remember a detail. And it struck me that I had never thought about my adolescence - for I could not find it in my memories. Or rather, it wasn't there at all.

Almost as if on cue, the room became dark. Cold. Forbidding. The cobwebs increased in size. The dust swivelled, only to make a perfect circle around me, as if to highlight my presence within the room. Kicking furiously around me, I tried to regain control of my body, which seemed to be working in unison with this circle of dust to keep me in place. My seemingly detatched body would not obey.

"You are not Elisa," It said. Insanely terrified, satisfied to realise my voice was still within my control, I yelled, "Then, who I am I? What am I doing here? Who are you?"
Having received no answer, I managed to seize The Force and turn on the light. I then realised I was floating on an ocean - of papers strewn on the floor. It forced me to stare at the wall, at what I now realised were not absurd celebrity posters but four letters pinned to the wall. In fact, the rickety desk was full of them too.
H - E - L - P

The shock was so great I collapsed to the ground: This was my room. This is who I used to be. And they did not want me to know.

The Storm

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Thu, 09 Apr 2015 18:27:00 +0100

Stress. Pain. I had to relax. And so I found myself in the forest, where I stretched my arms and released it all. Poured the negative contents out of my brain, into the grass, which in turn, absorbed it all.
“I am free!” I yelled, laughing, almost maniacally. But my behaviour no longer mattered, for I was all alone. I had all of this to myself! Oh, how unbelievable it felt, how spending a few minutes in nature, among the trees and fruitful plants, how it made you feel so alive, so detached from the insane world of ongoing stress.
Except, it didn’t last forever. Because now, my reasons for running had changed.

Continue reading The Storm

In a few seconds’ time, the beautiful warm weather that had accompanied my powerful sense of peacefulness had fallen apart. Monstrous, charcoal clouds emerged from the mountains where thy had been hiding, and now I was at their mercy, destined to be their prey. Two centimetres behind me, lightning struck, and my heart stopped as two trees came crashing down - in front of me, two more - and the booming resonance of thunder - the whole forest appeared to collapse, like shot soldiers, and I stopped. I was the only one standing, in this naked territory, exposed to the storm which would unquestionably take me. I had no choice. Breathing in what I thought would be my last breath, I closed my eyes and submerged myself into the pool of dead trees and grass.

Yet, as I opened my eyes, I realised I was no longer in the woods, but where the storm had actually taken place. Elisa, with a shotgun pointed towards her forehead. The court. The voices. What I had chosen to block out, to forget, to destroy, all those years of my life, and now I stood right in front of it.

“If you say a single word - you are killed, is that clear?” Dear God, that was his voice… And how loud, how handsome…
“David, drop the gun. NOW.” I said, my voice shockingly firm, in contrast to my trembling body. He seemed so unresponsive, so emotionless.
“Where are they?”
“I will never hand my family over to you! Kill me instead!”
“No!” I yelled, as loud as I could. I reached for the gun and grabbed it from him. For a second, everything was still. But David’s anger had soon started to build up, and I felt his hand slap my cheek, taking the gun from me, and the gunshot….

I was convicted for her death. Twenty years of prison, and David out in the loose. His arguments were stronger, and he had a better lawyer on his side - which I could have never, in my lifetime, been able to afford. Fingerprints corresponded. And his story was so convincing that even I began to believe it.
But I had committed a crime far worse than the one I had falsely been convicted of. I had deliberately chosen to forget my dear friend, which was, by far, what my ex-husband was wishing for. I had fallen for it.
The lightning, the trees, the room, the court - it was all gone - and I immediately realised what was the right thing to do. I go to her favorite place, and carve, ‘for my best friend Elise, who, since the storm, will always be remembered’. And before I say goodbye, I laugh to myself, for the place I am standing in is the forest I saw collapse before my eyes.

The Chaotic Dance of the Tired Mind

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Thu, 09 Apr 2015 11:30:00 +0100

Outside, the sun is bright, the clouds are out, and
inside the piano sits, scores neatly open, ready to play
with my cousins
and all these yell at me. Come, come
in a hypnotic dance
alluring me, dragging my mind
out of its container
that no longer wants to work.
Take me, take me.

Desperately, the container reaches for its contents
and forces them to stay
where I sit, head on table,
pen in hand. But what happens
if they are blank?

Outside, the sun is bright, the clouds are out, and
alluring me, dragging my mind, I sit, head on table,
in a hypnotic dance.
Come, come, where I sit, pen in hand,
out of its container, ready to play
because I no longer want to work.

And all these yell at me,
for, what happens, if I am blank?

Continue reading The Chaotic Dance of the Tired Mind

Art Coursework: Prep. and final piece

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Fri, 03 Apr 2015 21:35:00 +0100

This above is my final coursework piece. Click read more to see the work that led up to it and that was submitted as my coursework for the IGCSE art exam.

Continue reading Art Coursework: Prep. and final piece

Art Exam

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Fri, 03 Apr 2015 20:50:00 +0100

This above is my final exam piece. Click read more to see the work that led up to it and that was submitted for my IGCSE art exam.

Continue reading Art Exam

Life in an Hourglass (Exam)

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 21:58:00 +0100

Continue reading Life in an Hourglass (Exam)

Life in an Hourglass (Draft)

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Sun, 22 Mar 2015 21:58:00 +0100

Continue reading Life in an Hourglass (Draft)

Time Overpowered by Nature

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Sun, 22 Mar 2015 21:37:00 +0100

Continue reading Time Overpowered by Nature

Observational Drawing of an Orchid

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Sat, 21 Mar 2015 07:53:00 +0100

Continue reading Observational Drawing of an Orchid

Time breaking

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 21:52:00 +0100

Continue reading Time breaking

Watch Lino Prints

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 07:52:00 +0100

Continue reading Watch Lino Prints

Collage of a Watch

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Sat, 07 Mar 2015 07:56:00 +0100

Continue reading Collage of a Watch

Observational Drawing of a Watch - edited by the ipad

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Sat, 07 Mar 2015 07:54:00 +0100

Continue reading Observational Drawing of a Watch - edited by the ipad

Wooden Clock

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 07:56:00 +0100

Continue reading Wooden Clock

Hourglass

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Sun, 15 Feb 2015 07:56:00 +0100

Continue reading Hourglass

Plant life - Changing Times

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 07:56:00 +0100

Continue reading Plant life - Changing Times

Sky Time

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Thu, 05 Feb 2015 07:57:00 +0100

This is a drawing I did on the ipad, while I was on the bus.

Continue reading Sky Time

Descriptive Writing of an Abandoned Building

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Tue, 03 Feb 2015 20:32:00 +0100

"There it stood. I had walked past it several times and I had never seen it. It terrorised me. The idea that someone could have lived in this very building. The walls. So tall and never-ending, encircling me as if I was the victim of an ambush. I then noticed almost forcefully, the empty space where a window would have stood, where shattered, sharp remains of glass still lie, threatening me like someone putting a knife at my throat..."

This is the beginning of the descriptive writing I wrote as a practice for my IGCSE exam, answering the following question: "You come across an abandoned building you never knew existed. Describe its exterior and surroundings before giving details of how you enter. Describe the atmosphere inside and everything your senses experience as you explore the building".

Click "Read more" if you are interested in reading my whole answer.

Continue reading Descriptive Writing of an Abandoned Building

"What could have once been a lovely rose garden was now a hostile thorn bush, and the swings where children used to spend moments of joy and innocent childhood were now creaking in the most haunted way... What terrified me the most was its isolation. I was alone. Uncovered. Exposed to an unknown edifice that stared at me in return. As I lifted my head to defy its insubstancial stare, something caught my eye. I had not made the observation until now, as the infinetely long walls made it almost impossible to see: there was no ceiling. Where had it gone? This question made me less afraid of the building and more curious as to what had happened to it.
I walked towards the entrance door. From there, the whole structure appeared to be monstruously massive. I truly thought the feeling of inferiority would cease when I entered the building. It did not. From the inside, it looked as big as ever before, for there were no floors or ceiling. Four endless walls and a staircase leading to the cold foggy sky. It was almost as if it were a message, telling me that it was all over... but was it?
The dust, cobwebs, and graffitis on the walls and corners brought me back to reality. I was not the first to experience this unwelcoming, macabre pile of bricks. But yet the remains of furniture that lay disorderdly cluttered on the floor reminded me of death, for this had once been the home of many happy lives and therefore full of life itself. And it was all gone. replaced by rats, spiders, and their cobwebs, dirt, dust, fleece and trash. And trash. How terribly sad, to be calling what had once been a cosy, comfortable sofa, trash. For it was ripped, dismantled, and stained. Abandoned...
Newspapers that gave the date of a hundred years ago - barely, for they were covered in dust. Boxes that read "FRAGILE" where one could identify broken pieces of jars, plates, and glass. There were no answers in there, simply the smell of rot, the sound of creaking, the touch of a rough surface, the sight of a horror scene, and the taste of regurgitated food. For I felt I would certainly throw up. It was too much for me to bare.
As the cold wind rushed against my face, I fled out of that distorted dwelling and decided I would never walk past it again."

Success - Money or Happiness?

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 18:48:00 +0100

Whilst I was browsing through last years' english folder on my computer, I found this article that I achieved high marks on and I think is actually worth posting. The topic was on our perception of "success". Click "read more" if you are interested in reading it.

Continue reading Success - Money or Happiness?

The Other Side

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 18:12:00 +0100

My friend wrote this poem during a game where we asked each other to analyse each other's poems. I asked her to analyse the first stanza from "Such Nonsense Words". Although she was not implying anything as she wrote it - despite what anyone may think as they begin to analyse this - I believe it is a very creative and interesting piece of work. Click read more to read it.

Continue reading The Other Side

Tis life that did yond the window

Pain grip the engine of mine spirit

In vain the hand, my hair, the look.

Despair in the eyes, reflect of twi

Light I see the red sky

The warning

Good bye

Observational Drawing of a Watch

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 07:55:00 +0100

I am currently working on some exam preparation for the topic "changing times" in art class. This is an observational drawing of my watch that I did to contribute to my project.

Continue reading Observational Drawing of a Watch

Still Life Investigation

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Fri, 11 Apr 2014 06:57:00 +0100

As a project for art class, we were asked to bring in an object of our choice and to start playing around with it, to produce a final 9-square drawing, with different perspectives of the object. I chose a flower pot (the pot, I had made during ceramics class), and here it is:

Continue reading Still Life Investigation

Flower Pot:

Tonal Values Drawing:

Graphite Reduction drawing (erasing, instead of drawing)

9 - Sqaure Drawing

Knotted

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Fri, 11 Apr 2014 06:39:00 +0100

A while ago in art class, we did a project in which we had to draw 3 drawings of "Knotted". Here's what I did:

Continue reading Knotted

Batik Leaf

judit@haikufeel.com (Judit Duran) — Fri, 11 Apr 2014 06:36:00 +0100

A while ago, I posted a picture of a leaf I had drawn. A few weeks later, we were asked to create something with that leaf, and to reproduce that creation through a batik wax-resist technique. Considering the difficulty of this task, I think I did quite well. Here is what I did:

Continue reading Batik Leaf